What a beautiful homage to a special man who made a profound impact. There are so many ways people touch our lives, and often the most powerful ones go unrecognized, except in the warmth of how they made us feel and memories we have of how they anchored us to what really matters. The way he showed up for you many times (and you, him), how you write he went out of his way to pick you up from your surgery and wrap you in the blanket brought me to tears.
I’ve had the privilege of knowing a few men cut from the same cloth as your Rob. How special to have a connection through all those life phases and be a witness and presence for each other. My sense is you were anam cara, transcending ordinary friendship. I am sorry for your loss. Life is fragile and fleeting, and yet we are so fortunate to spend some moments with those rare souls who are as solid as your Rob.
This is absolutely beautiful, Heidi. Thank you for your extraordinarily thoughtful response. I LOVE the concept of anam cara. I haven’t come across it before and it has really helped me. Yes, that’s what he was. Thank you.
You're so welcome! I first learned about "anam cara" from the soulful writing of John O'Donohue- his book by that name is extraordinary. Your post resonated with me, Christina. I have recently lost someone (my aunt). Also inherited a very difficult care situation with an uncle with dementia and the brunt of it has been buffered by the support of an exceptional friend, also a man, who has been my anam cara since high school. Russ and I have gone through many incarnations in this one life (but never lovers). In the era of toxic masculinity, I feel like I'd like to give more airtime to these standup men who are powerful in less visible ways.
I am so very sorry for your loss and the awful situation it has left you in. Your friend Russ sounds extraordinary. Friendships can be deeper than any other kind of relationship. As you say, it has something to do with some kind of soul connection, whatever you call it. Love to you today.
From one ‘South Londoner’ to another: Rob was a man that I immediately connected with and felt great affection and fondness.
A shared heritage of growing up in ‘Sarf London’ brought with it an understanding of where we had come from.
But what was abundantly clear to all, and particularly with your tribute, not everyone knew where he was going and constantly surprised you with the twists and turns of his life travels.
I’ve just spent the morning walking another dear friend’s hounds on the hill at Rottingdean; listening to the Larks ascending and lifting their voices to the sky and thinking of Rob.
He was a man who charted his own course: safe journey Rob.
Darling Nick, your poetic words have moved me deeply. I knew there was a bond between you two straight away. I wish I could tell him about the larks ascending - and the hounds! Ros says you’re hoping to come to the funeral. I don’t yet know when it is. Either way, I would like us to have our own mini celebration of Ron’s life when we meet. Love to you both. Xx
What an incredible man. I remember you talked about him that time we met and it has stayed with me. Also my goodness Christina he is probably the most attractive man I’ve ever seen, I would have kissed him too! What a loss, and how wonderful to have had him in your life.
Thank you so much, Donna. I remember talking about him when we met, too. And yes, he was very handsome. Seems just awful to have to use the past tense. 💔
Oh, Christina, I am so sorry for your loss. We can have multiple soulmates in life, and Rob has to have been one of yours. What a gift you were to each other!
I just finished reading "Outside, the Sky is Blue" and the so very many losses that preceded Rob's are fresh in my awareness - as if they all happened back-to-back. My heart goes out to you with all the loss you have experienced. Loss may be a part of life, but it doesn't make it easier. ❤️
Gosh, now I’ve just seen this, too. You are absolutely right about multiple soulmates, though I’ve probably just had two. I’m really touched that you’ve read my book. And yes, there has been too much loss. But I am very, very lucky to still be here. Thank you, lovely Cathy. Xx
What a lovely man. Alice Herz Sommer, a holocaust survivor, all alone towards the end of her life, said, “I know about the bad. I think about the good”. This was a good man and thank you for giving him such a wonderful sendoff. I suspect you were a brilliant friend, too.
What a beautiful tribute to Rob. I think anyone reading this would love to have known him. By sharing your memories of this extraordinary man I feel like I do know him a little and I am sorry for your loss of such a faithful friend. ❤️
What a beautiful tribute, Christina! I was reading this at my day job and had to put my phone down three times as I was tearing up. So full of love and living life to the fullest. Indeed a rock, “your rock”. What a gift. Thank you for letting me get to know Rob in this moving piece. xx
So sorry for your loss. Robb comes across as one of those people whose legacy is not a plaque on a building, but the solid foundations he's given people over the years through his kind acts. May we all be as lucky to know someone as generous as him.
Your friend sounds like a brilliant person and your love and care for each other infuses this beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing it. The loss of a close friend is a terrible thing .
What a loss to you, his friends and family and the world. He had such a love for life and it's a tragedy it's ended so soon. This is a wonderful tribute, Christina which really gives a sense of how extraordinary he was. He did light up a room.
What a beautiful homage to a special man who made a profound impact. There are so many ways people touch our lives, and often the most powerful ones go unrecognized, except in the warmth of how they made us feel and memories we have of how they anchored us to what really matters. The way he showed up for you many times (and you, him), how you write he went out of his way to pick you up from your surgery and wrap you in the blanket brought me to tears.
I’ve had the privilege of knowing a few men cut from the same cloth as your Rob. How special to have a connection through all those life phases and be a witness and presence for each other. My sense is you were anam cara, transcending ordinary friendship. I am sorry for your loss. Life is fragile and fleeting, and yet we are so fortunate to spend some moments with those rare souls who are as solid as your Rob.
This is absolutely beautiful, Heidi. Thank you for your extraordinarily thoughtful response. I LOVE the concept of anam cara. I haven’t come across it before and it has really helped me. Yes, that’s what he was. Thank you.
You're so welcome! I first learned about "anam cara" from the soulful writing of John O'Donohue- his book by that name is extraordinary. Your post resonated with me, Christina. I have recently lost someone (my aunt). Also inherited a very difficult care situation with an uncle with dementia and the brunt of it has been buffered by the support of an exceptional friend, also a man, who has been my anam cara since high school. Russ and I have gone through many incarnations in this one life (but never lovers). In the era of toxic masculinity, I feel like I'd like to give more airtime to these standup men who are powerful in less visible ways.
I am so very sorry for your loss and the awful situation it has left you in. Your friend Russ sounds extraordinary. Friendships can be deeper than any other kind of relationship. As you say, it has something to do with some kind of soul connection, whatever you call it. Love to you today.
From one ‘South Londoner’ to another: Rob was a man that I immediately connected with and felt great affection and fondness.
A shared heritage of growing up in ‘Sarf London’ brought with it an understanding of where we had come from.
But what was abundantly clear to all, and particularly with your tribute, not everyone knew where he was going and constantly surprised you with the twists and turns of his life travels.
I’ve just spent the morning walking another dear friend’s hounds on the hill at Rottingdean; listening to the Larks ascending and lifting their voices to the sky and thinking of Rob.
He was a man who charted his own course: safe journey Rob.
Love Nick.
Darling Nick, your poetic words have moved me deeply. I knew there was a bond between you two straight away. I wish I could tell him about the larks ascending - and the hounds! Ros says you’re hoping to come to the funeral. I don’t yet know when it is. Either way, I would like us to have our own mini celebration of Ron’s life when we meet. Love to you both. Xx
Dear Christina Thank you. Of course we’ll celebrate Rob, see you both soon. X
What an incredible man. I remember you talked about him that time we met and it has stayed with me. Also my goodness Christina he is probably the most attractive man I’ve ever seen, I would have kissed him too! What a loss, and how wonderful to have had him in your life.
Thank you so much, Donna. I remember talking about him when we met, too. And yes, he was very handsome. Seems just awful to have to use the past tense. 💔
Horrible, heartbreaking x
Oh, Christina, I am so sorry for your loss. We can have multiple soulmates in life, and Rob has to have been one of yours. What a gift you were to each other!
I just finished reading "Outside, the Sky is Blue" and the so very many losses that preceded Rob's are fresh in my awareness - as if they all happened back-to-back. My heart goes out to you with all the loss you have experienced. Loss may be a part of life, but it doesn't make it easier. ❤️
Gosh, now I’ve just seen this, too. You are absolutely right about multiple soulmates, though I’ve probably just had two. I’m really touched that you’ve read my book. And yes, there has been too much loss. But I am very, very lucky to still be here. Thank you, lovely Cathy. Xx
I'm sorry for your loss Christine, Rob sounds like an exceptional person and incredible friend. Thank you for sharing. Take care.
Thank you for your kind words.
What a lovely man. Alice Herz Sommer, a holocaust survivor, all alone towards the end of her life, said, “I know about the bad. I think about the good”. This was a good man and thank you for giving him such a wonderful sendoff. I suspect you were a brilliant friend, too.
What a beautiful response. Thank you so much.
What a beautiful tribute to Rob. I think anyone reading this would love to have known him. By sharing your memories of this extraordinary man I feel like I do know him a little and I am sorry for your loss of such a faithful friend. ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind words, Donna. Very much appreciated.
Rob sounds like an amazing human being and friend. I am very sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much, Clarice. He was.
What a beautiful tribute, Christina! I was reading this at my day job and had to put my phone down three times as I was tearing up. So full of love and living life to the fullest. Indeed a rock, “your rock”. What a gift. Thank you for letting me get to know Rob in this moving piece. xx
I’m really touched by this response, Rhaine. Thank you so much. Xx
You are so lucky to have had each other in your lives; thank you for sharing. Love & strength x
Thank you so much. And yes, we were lucky to have had this.
Just beautiful...he sounds a wonderful man and how life enhancing to have had such a wonderful relationship ❤️
Thank you so much. And yes, I was truly lucky to know him.
So sorry for your loss. Robb comes across as one of those people whose legacy is not a plaque on a building, but the solid foundations he's given people over the years through his kind acts. May we all be as lucky to know someone as generous as him.
Thank you so much, Paul. You are absolutely right.
Your friend sounds like a brilliant person and your love and care for each other infuses this beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing it. The loss of a close friend is a terrible thing .
Thank you so much, Tamsin. I really appreciate your kind words.
What a loss to you, his friends and family and the world. He had such a love for life and it's a tragedy it's ended so soon. This is a wonderful tribute, Christina which really gives a sense of how extraordinary he was. He did light up a room.
Thank you, dear Jo. Yes, he absolutely did. 💔
Thinking of you and so very sorry indeed to hear this. What a wonderful man. Lisa x
Thank you so much, Lisa. X
He sounds wonderful, and I’m so sorry that he’s died X
Thank you so much, Jenny. X